Decentering Men: A Fuller Life For Women Who Need Peace of Mind
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For women, witnessing our other female friends lose their identities in the pursuit of pleasing the men in their lives (boyfriends, husbands, etc) can be a very frustrating experience. It’s also far more frustrating to befriend someone who has always had relationship drama with their boyfriends/changing their boyfriend-like clothes. It’s not demure, and neither is it mindful.
However, I imagine it is much more frustrating when you’re in that situation, too. According to Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics at the Hay Festival, women who never married or had children are among the happiest subgroups.
If you want to enjoy a fuller life and eliminate that bad energy, here are ways to decenter men from your life!
Don’t Glorify Men
Don’t get me wrong – I love the men in my life, such as my dad and cousins. However, not all of them are great, and this is backed up by facts—rape, domestic violence, and homicide statistics back this up. In addition, research indicates that the life expectancy of a woman is affected by marriage.
As friends, men tend to fall short emotionally. This is because friendships between men are not based on emotional bonding. When they fall short, thanks to patriarchy, they fail upwards. Thus, it would help if you were realistic about men; they’re regular people.
If you have the emotional energy, call them out and hold them accountable whenever they fail.
Find A Source of Happiness That Doesn’t Rely on Male Presence
Partnership is a human need. However, being single isn’t always bad. And you don’t need to be tethered to a partner so that you can feel happy and focused. The power to be satisfied has always been in your hands.
For many women, the framework for happiness we have been fed is to get married and have children, when in reality, our happiness should not be confined to it. Our queer friends have experienced happiness despite their historical persecution, and they have many frameworks for finding joy.
Find new hobbies and causes to devote your time and energy to!
Focus On Your Personal Goals And New Hobbies
If you’ve found yourself putting so much energy into men and relationships, then maybe it’s time to explore your aspirations and turn them into reality. If you were used to complaining about guys to girlfriends, this would be a different kind of energy that you’re going to experience.
There’s so much more to life than relationships! There are things you can get into and explore, such as new personal goals and hobbies.
Some new hobbies and goals that you can explore are:
- Exploring gaming and gambling in an online casino: This spontaneous activity has many benefits, especially for boosting cognitive abilities and socialization, especially if you want something convenient and fun. Furthermore, you can play in many legitimate online casinos that offer a diverse portfolio of games and . If you want the peak gaming experience with drinks and dresses, then you have the option to drive out to a land casino.
- Get a glow-up for yourself: Focus on looking great for yourself with the help of different analysts! You can get a color analysis session in person or have yours analyzed online by colorists. Through this, you can buy clothes, jewelry, and makeup in the colors that suit you best. In South Korea, body analysis is offered to help you determine which type of clothing flatters your body type the most. These services will help you glow up and look the best you ever have been!
- Read more books: Expand your world and imagination with new books! Explore different genres, from romance, fantasy, and even self-help books; these can help elevate your quality of life, mainly if you apply the advice given in them. Fiction books, in particular, can help you develop a strong empathy and expose you to new ideas and fun worlds to explore.
Focus On Female Friendship
Being in a romantic relationship can be a hindrance to developing friendships. Friendships have been my constant source of joy, comfort, and connection. Without our friends, who are we, indeed?
We exist outside of our relationships with men. We are people with a lot of relationships, too! These relationships also nurture us emotionally with a community. And most of all, they are our constants.
Wrapping Up
Without men, we cannot live. However, it is possible to be happy without giving all our time and energy to our boyfriends! We must also remember that we are happy and can find fulfillment without needing a male partner.
